| A Return |
[26 Apr 2007|06:53am] |
Its been a while for me...almost too long, and this is something i hope to dedicate more time to. Even though i kept more of a personal journal to myself...we all want to secretly share it with someone!
Its been a year...fall..and in spring semester I pledged a fraternity...a hard one but it was well worth it to me.....and i made it through, now i'm a greek and i get a lot of Greek love! Well...i dont even know where to start with you all.
I have been writing entries in a journal of my own but its hard to manage especially when i'm bouncing everywhere i go now. I wake up early and go on the boot! Theres no time to spare unless i'm working, in which I am.
I hope to get some replies! And apologies for not being there to comment and help people out! Hahah.
Life is great once more, even if i'm single. I've been able to explore, chat, flirt with whoever with no punishments. My days have been bright and ffilled with no regred about anything. Music has enlightened me and i've just been on one big happy trip....except when it looks crappy outside. Theres nothing that truly bothers me, unlike before where i was haunted by the thought of getting with my ex...i've decided to keep her in arms reach for possible the future, keep friends and all with her...and if she wants to move on me..eh i'll let her chase.....and then maybe give in.
I've no problem with dating her but....i don't want to give in that easily, i can't give her the impression that she has me like that....not a pride issue...but just a minipulative issue..if she knows that then she knows she can just do anything and fall back on me...and honestly i'm not gonna be waiting around. There are plenty other interests out there, and girls i've been talking to. However, a one night stander isn't my style as a guy, unlike many others. The other day she was a bit jealous when i was laying on this other girl, and made her way over to lay on me lol...w/e....jealousy or not, who knows. Its just funny...i can just tell by the way she touches me and all she still wants me...but i won't bite, i'll let her pursue....if she wants me, she'll chase me. Its weird, but i'll let it rock...and shrug my shoulders...take and give.
Friends have been close, and i've just been chill with my new family and being active. School is winding down and i'm looking forward to chilling with everyone for the summer! Nzingha, Meli...yup, even the oldies, you too. Life has kicked it up and nothing is seemingly bringing me down, and stronger than ever. I'm looking forward to starting up my own football league i'm supposed to take over come the summer time when i get back home. Just some papers i need to finish off and a final....time to kick things for the last time this semester. LETS DO IT. :)
|
|
| I got 4 minutes |
[30 Aug 2006|01:32pm] |
I got 4 minutes to do what I gotta do to prove to you that I would do anything babe....
I got 4 minutes to say what I gotta say to make you stay and show that i'm a changed man...
Cuz in 4 minutes I'll never have my girl again
In 4 minutes i'll lose her to some other man
4 minutes.....no more.......and i'm desperate cuz the clocks ticking....only got four minutes to go....
|
|
| Where to Start? |
[02 Aug 2006|12:51pm] |
|
It's been a while people. For those listen. I guess I've been keeping a lil busy...just a lil.
Temporary work was nice. 70 bucks a day, and with me having no expenses and know how to conserve. I still have it, I let mom chip off money from here and there. Only fair :).
College loans, since my lazy ass didn't pursue scholarships I have to call the bank....i'll get around to it...my mom is forcing me to do it this time...when she can easily do it herself.
Puerto Rico! I'll be gone from the 12th of August people, from there...i'll be back around the 20th...and then soon to leave back to the Cuse' college time baby. But no worries! I have a 5 day weekend up there......5 days off anyways. I have school on Tues-thurs...and weds night. 5 days to sleep all day ^__^; I'll work my ass off too though.
What have I been doing? Nothing much, chilling with friends, getting back into football mode with games here and there. However it's been hot as hell....and nights are uncomfortable...and I can't sleep all day how I used to...the fan does nothing for me. Blowing hot air....I have an AC as a TV stand and my mom won't let me install it. So I'm suffering atm.
Relationship? Stands strong, held unto it...she wanted to be on brink of part...I talked out of it. Can't wait to see her in the Cuse'...I suppose.
A lil something for you all:
Your body keeps going,
Your mind tells you to stop,
You know it ain't right
But it's hard to go back
Bite that sensation
You know it's for the best
Infatuation can get the best
Even if wasn't just that
Betrayal of trust leaves me with no choice
Unloyal to mingle
Torn in two directions whichever you go
This time i'll step back
I'm pushing away
Yeah. Short simple, blunt. Nothing artistic. However it seems to be the case with me.
|
|
| Zzzzzzzzz |
[14 Jul 2006|09:34am] |
So just the other day I found myself in a 36 hour straight standoff of being awake! I was nearly passing out at work, dozing off here and there but coming to reality. I was so tired, so I come home and attempt to sleep in bed...but I can't anymore, but just wheni go out cold in bed my phone rings a minute later...shocking me awake. Friend comes over and so theres no sleep there. Start watching some Bleach....begin falling asleep again! "YOUVE GOT MAIL!" wakes the crap out of me and I didn't see sleep until 2 Am z.z Here I am up at 8 ....waiting for my friend until 9:30 or so now. lol ...he's delay though i wonder if he fell asleep and then cancels work. I don't mind either way....because I'd like some sleep ^__^;
Not much with me, just some temporary work.
|
|
|
[07 Jul 2006|02:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
One Wish |
] |
So...it's come to a turn you know. Here I am, I was on the strands of my relationship...making a bold move to pull it together. It was all bad timing for me I think...now that...i've begun to allow myself to like this girl...and open up to her she wants to back bags....right when I really want to be on my grind and patch things ya know? So today is day one of my grind....I can't fall off...i'm known to go through a phase of falling off. I don't want to do that....I gotta keep pressing on ya know. But I feel...a change in me...for a while I had lost myself.....I wasn't who I was...I'm back, that Adam is back. One I like to be...that confident aura I carried is returned, and I shall keep with me..and i know that's the difference in all this.....one wish.....good song, put me in this contemplative mood.
My bro is also back, it' sbeen months...he's back for good now! I can't wait to chill with him onc emore...the trio has returned....i'm happy...everything is piecing together. I don't want to think the negatives at the moment.....thought i'd let everyone know what's up..
|
|
| ? |
[20 Jun 2006|08:44pm] |
I'm satisfied with my daily life, and i'm happy day to day as long as I do what I want to do. Then you ask me the question, if your already satisfied with that what is the need for a girlfriend? And the question runs through my mind....am I lonely....I want that significant other near me? What does she offer me? Comfort, Care, kindness, affection. It's all nice.....and I thought a relationship would do good for me ya know...First one and all to say. It was much more tedious than I thought, and then I figured maybe a relationship wasn't the type for me? I'm too flirty? Love to many woman? I'm no pimp and player, but you are limited to what you can do when you are 'tied down' in a relationship. I can't even dance with other woman at the point, she's extremely territorial. Regardless....things that I don't care for, or wouldn't bother me, bothers her......and I hear it on the other end. It's like...so many things....calling...time...chilling....I mean I should be doing that...I should want to see her...talk to her...do things with her right? It's not like i'm getting any play either, so sex life is bad....and I've been looking for a girl I can just have it with so...it's like she didn't meet me on that ends and that is where I was disappointed, I don't even want to make out because of it b ecause it won't lead anywhere. Experience is good though right? She likes to dry sex, she gets off somehow doing her thing, nothing on my end.....even when she attempts....it's the lack of experience on her end that leaves me short. I suppose I'm a quick learner? It's just knowing i'm limited with her I guess...
It leads me to thing...why am I in this relationship.....maybe she's doing too much...and i'm not throwing effort back.....so I should let her be happy with someone else....but what if I still make her happy...and i'm not happy on my end...? I'm more confused on getting my thoughts straight and what I feel that I am on reading anybody elses, which is ironic. Was I always hesitate to pour out feeling sbecause in reality I'm the one who is supposed to be that stable guy, chillax, no emotional problems, no drama...not saying that it is...but it can be.....
Then a part of me says...hey i'm young....., I am also loyal on ends.....but i'm not getting what...I want....not saying that's all I want ya know...because it's not, but it's part of me unsatisfied, something that my girl shoudl be doing, to make me happy ya know. It's something like that that brings me to the conclusion of just wanting to have an affair...strictly based upon infatuation....sex friend so to say. But that's not right is it? Morals come into play. When it comes to a relationship it just may be my inexperience of having them....or just that i'm too young to have one....I want to hop to girl to girl...I want to play the field....and have the girls play the field on me too......It's like...I don't want to miss that experience...I mean i'm in college, i'm seeing a bunch of girls..a.nd once that's done it's over...theres not another college year.....and here is one year gone. I just really.....sadly....but honestly....wanted some experience....in knowing how to do things.....so I could do it with other girls....and that just may be the most evil selfish thing i've said...and you know....it's not like....it's my intention.....and....i'm not a bad guy...but I know that's a bad thought....or thing to do...I'm...I just don't know really. ~ Feedback? i'd love to hear it. Thanks for hearing me out.....
|
|
|
[09 Jun 2006|02:51am] |
|
I find myself stuck watching america's next top model for the first time! Go mercedes!
|
|
| hope I get some questions! |
[23 May 2006|09:35pm] |
YOU GET TO ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
Repost this to see what others ask you...
IF YOU DONT THEN YOU'RE SCARED OF WHAT
|
|
| Another dream.... |
[19 May 2006|01:22pm] |
This time it's more...sorta on the friend side rather than about my father, who I actually talked to on my birthday....good thing to hear he's alrigtht....i have been wondering why he hasn't called....shit...i've been using the phone line to go online, probably why....time to change that. Anyways.
It starts off with someone telling me to get a haircut...guess i've been needing one, they even try to give me 10 bucks to take it lol, it's a family relative i'm sure and their trying to take after me...that's when you know i really need a haircut.
Alright then it shifts to a party at my friend gabe's house, and not a real party with music and all...just a chill party. So everyone is having fun, i'm chilling and everything and eventually i'm in the bathroom with some girl named dominique from my old school. Yeah...things started to happen...but she was just a cock tease and nothing happened beyond kissing. She bounced afterwards and i had some weird rocker shorts/pants..ripped etc...maybe their claled khakis. Anyways. From there i get out the bathroom, gather my stuff and everyone just about figures out what happened...but i reassure them differently...thing is...i got a girlfriend....i knew that.
So i grab a football and i'm off to middle school! Yup why not go through the 8th grade or so and go into gym class for some fun, or catch my friends at lunch..but wait..i don't got friends in middle school anymore...and i got summer break while their in high school. Well i just talk to people on the phone here and there trying to set up things, trying to play some football. :edit start: I'm not sure where this part of the dream started, but sensible it was afterwards. I headed back to my friend gabriels house, and my boy jay was supposed to be cooking...master chef heh. I end up going to school or something like a field trip with gabe and end up solving riddles or something at this show were in seats for. Well...can't really remember the rest, kinda irrelevant of it all anyways lol :edit end: All was good and a journey until..bam....phone rings..friend jorge..gotta go to queens with him to see movies with my girl, shirley.
Interesting...so i wrote it down...any comments? I never get any :/...maybe there isn'
t much to say to begin with :). Thanks for reading.
|
|
| A Dream |
[28 Apr 2006|02:45pm] |
It was a short dream at that, but it got me really thinking because I take dreams seriously you know. My father called me, and for those who don't know I haven't talked to him since I started college nor have I given him any thought in my mind or missed him either. He always attempted to be there, but on a financial standpoint it was small and mom was always there for me and dependable. The past is more to piece the puzzle, but i'll save it for another time.
So in my dream my father calls me...and admits sort of...that he is poor and starving. So i decide to go visit him because no matter the circumstance I would still see him regardless, my father is my father no matter what happens in between time. It was pretty sad, he had a collection of bread but it was moldy....and for some reason he was living in my cousin's house. There are other details but nothing major. It just got me thinking about it that's all. So many questions in my head rising....why did it end up like this? Why hasn't he called me? Does he care? What's he doing? Why does he do the things he does...why can't he be stable? Part of me also wants to tell him off for not being there, and let him know that mom was always there...where were you...but...now that I think about telling him that...i know i'd hurt him. He has feelings too...he's all I had...but i'm not there....so...he's alone, that must be depressing...my curious mind wonders...i shed a tear or two. Thought writing it out would get it off my mind, but it just has me thinking more...best to express I say though.
That's all for now.
|
|
|
[26 Mar 2006|09:35pm] |
the Ham
(33% dark, 50% spontaneous, 36% vulgar) |
your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT
Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test |
|
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
You scored higher than 15% on darkness |
|
You scored higher than 50% on spontaneity |
|
You scored higher than 42% on vulgarity |
|
|
|
| Where have I been... |
[23 Feb 2006|04:33am] |
Sleepless most likely. Here I am wastin gtime up till 4:30 when I know I got a class at 9:30...and gotta wake up at 9. Man why do I do this to myself? I don't know why, 6 sometimes but atleast I wake up at 2 on mondays and wednsdays. Still i'm sleep deprived. I found myself a relationship and it's official yay. Haven't talked to her in a few days but i've been quite busy with work and school work to top it off.
I miss you all really - I don't usually respond how I do and when I do I may be late or just ran through a list to say hey. Melissa's poetry was inspiring, maybe i'll write some myself. I love to express in twisted words, make you think and ponder...maybe too much, i've had people lost.
Guess i'm still here...i'm not even sure what to say. Why do I never have enough to express deeply and just pour out to paper heh?
My mom called earlier today, i'm not sure why she makes me so pissed. As soon as I was on the phone with her I was upset, and she just easily angered me and I wasn't sure why. She forced me to talk to her and wouldn't let me hangup even if I was being an ass on the phone and we were tense. Maybe I was mad because she was telling me I had to pay off some debts and buy some books with my own cash that I was going to go shopping with, and repair my i-pod/phone with. -sigh- Tommorow will be busy...work and all. Almost forgot about it, doubt i'll go out for tequilla thursdays.
I actually had some thoughts of joining a spanish frat that all my boys are supposedly heading into. Though I heard that in order to join a minority frat you have to go through silence. Which is about 6 weeks or so of straight silence. Supposedly you have to show that your focused etc. So this means like, no social activities, work, study, don't speak to people. Only familia, and your frat brothers. Tough choice to make...
|
|
| Quiz updates! |
[12 Feb 2006|06:06pm] |
| Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss" | 
You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.
You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you
Your flirting style: friendly and sweet
What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance
Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive |
|
|
| Been a while |
[01 Feb 2006|02:48am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
When I'm Gone - Eminem |
] |
It has been a while since my last entry and at the moment i'm delaying myself from doing some simple homework and getting a good nights rest. I go wake up at 2pm for classes tommorow anyways. I hate waking up early for classes...the only thing i'll ever wake up early for is sports...baseball or football. Screw all else heh.
Well so what's been going on in my life eh? Hit back and broke into the college life, first weekend was a blast and I partied it out, and so did I on the second weekend too. Clubs and all that, and spending alot of time with a special someone ^_~....well atleast on the weekends. On the weekdays I'm so lazy and I never go to visist anyone which is probably a bad habit of mine. I should especially start calling upa nd meeting up people, but i'm too tired and lazy for all that..I just want to go home..nap or chill.
Aside from that I have a textbook problem! Yes...out of my 6 classes I only have textbooks for one, my b ookstore account is on hold and i'm short on cash to pay it off...actually i'm at 0 right now...with exception of a collection of pennies.
Been listening to music, and more intuned with the people around me for the second time around. Glad everythings in order. Chipping of work here and there and I've yet to slip...but without textbooks how long will i last? I need to find a solution...fast.
I know that I was in this little 'tenshi high' thing already, but god damn they post so much stuff on it x.x; That I don't get to read what I really want to read, and that's all my LJ friend's posts, and what's going on with them and in their lives. So I think i'm gonna leave that community...if I find out how...hopefully I already did the trick. Anyways, up and Adam! Over and out -
|
|
|
[11 Jan 2006|09:47pm] |
| You are Agnostic | 
You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you. |
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
Structured and organized, you have a knack for thinking clearly.
You are very logical - and you don't let your thoughts get polluted with emotions.
And while your thoughts are pretty serious, they're anything from boring.
It's minds like yours that have built the great cities of the world! |
Woa! >_> That's the first one that appealed to me....:D...and yet...pretty realistic so from what I think
| Your Hidden Talent | 
You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.
You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.
People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.
When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers. |
Spring time looked so good though xD. However due to my optimism people usually don't experience the bad of it....I see this alot in football, aslong as I stood positive so would the team and we'd keep going on to win. I give up...and it's seemingly over.
|
|
|
[11 Jan 2006|04:57pm] |
|
Rich text mode and LJ cut have become annoying XD! Well more like LJ cut, I tried to put pictures up of whatever...in them..you know like quizes...and it just came out as text which was annoying :P , no more of that..i'll just limit my quiz taking.
|
|
| Hmm... |
[07 Jan 2006|05:40pm] |
| You're a Playful Kisser | 
Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right! |
|
|
| Old Faces |
[06 Jan 2006|07:11pm] |
So I went to visit my high school today, see some old faces, was all cool and good to see how people changed and even saw some of my friends in school too. Either way, there was a plan for iceskating...but NYC....that costs money, and I don't have a job so I was out the loop...I wasn't the only one lol. Cool to see everyone, and some teachers....thought I kinda ditched Jeff (Humanities Teacher) - Didn't get to speak to him that much lol - Real cool guy, should have shown him some writing papers lol...anyways I guess it was a fun day...still felt a little weird. So many people I forgot that greeted me, I wasn't even thinking of meeting them..good to see them though.
Long story short...time to go chill with a couple.
|
|
|
[06 Jan 2006|07:11pm] |
| Your Love Element Is Earth | 
In love, you have consistency and integrity.
For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.
You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.
Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.
Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.
You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.
You connect best with: Fire
Avoid: Wood
You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
miroku_houshi's journal